Calling all tape heads.....

If you love old videos then chances are you'd love a book all about the glory days of VHS!

So please spare a moment to read this and using the power of social networking to hit the 'Like' button and give a bit of hope to book starved VHS fans every where!

Gawd bless!

Amy x

Shiny, Shiny pants of metal.

The Warrior and the Sorceress - 1984

Danish Release

aka

Kaine le mercenaire, Kain del planeta oscura

Without making too many bad taste David Carradine jokes, I will try and figure out what the heck is going on with this sleeve.

The metal undies and gimp harness?

The woman with two pairs of tits?

The very phallic snake/dragon?

The worryingly placed nipples?

And the bulging sparkly knickers?!?!?!?!

WHY?

DEAR GOD WHY OH WHY?

Despite looking like a really bad, homoerotic, heavy metal album cover, it's still kind of cool.

Altho the well tanned, oily thunder thighs really don't do David any favours.

IMDb / DVD

Big Thanks to The Danish Ex-rental VHS Appreciation Group (DEVAG) for the scan.

The (oh so very) Lame

The Game - 1984

UK Release

aka

The Cold

Plot based on a classic,superior film: check.

Budget DVD release: check.

Made in the 1980s: check.

Poor rating and reviews on IMDb: check.

God awful artwork with barely any relation to film: CHECK!

Here with have The Game (aka House on Haunted Hill remake no.947), a film so bad it it's been rated a mere 3.0 out of 10 on IMDb. So you can't polish a turd, but whoever did this artwork obviously wasn't even going to try.

Ok, so I haven't watched it myself and maybe the film it's self isn't that awful, but this sleeve is making me want to take a hammer to the tape, not pop it in the VCR and sit back and enjoy.

To quote some of the reviews:

"The characters are some of the worst actors ever to be put on film"

"Production values and acting are without question of a pornographic movie standard"

"Most scenes are merely an excuse to focus the camera on various female body parts including an opening dance number that is a crossover of American Bandstand meets geriatric aerobics complete with hookers.  If there was any hesitation that white people can't dance this scene hammers the final nail in that coffin."

Going by the reviews I read you'd think this film would trade off it's "sex appeal", bit of tit on the sleeve, make it look sexy!

I'm not sure what to make of any of the motley crew on the cover. Wishy-washy skeleton/puff of smoke man with a bat's face is odd but not exactly shit-yer-pants scary nor are the smug threesome with their chin operated puppet people! If anyone could explain to me why on earth the artist didn't just put some hands in over having the strings look like they're attached at the jaw, then please do!

Still Nice to see David Schwimmer was getting work as an artist's model before he found fame in Friends.

I also felt the need to draw attention to shockingly bad DVD artwork.

One word: SPUNKY!

IMDb / DVD

Thanks to Gavin for the scan.

Not dead....but not online either.

Still very much without internet access, so sadly no blog for a while longer....but I do have the urge to make eveyrone go and purchase this film...

 It's very bloody good.



(Image borrowed from here....I'm using a very restricted computer that won't even let me save images off the web....bah!)

A (slightly) belated New Year

HAPPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Fingers crossed the blog will be back in the next few months with more terrible sleeves for you all to marvel over.

(Also a very belated Merry Christmas to everyone!)

Woe is me.....

Hello my lovelies.

More doom and gloom from me, so not only has my computer with all my files on gone KA-BOOM and broken, I'm also currently "between homes".....Trying to find a new Crap Video Artwork HQ. But fingers crossed it'll all be over soon and I can get back to doing what I love most, posting crap on here!

As ever thank you to everyone who reads the blog, has spent the time scanning me sleeves, supported me from the start and the lovely peeps on the Facebook page. I owe you all a very large drink.

Down, but not out!

At least they put a dog in the front of this one (see here for a previous entry regarding a truly awful bit of artwork for said film)

Thanks to Steve Hughes for posting the scan on the FB page.

FUCK I'M FAMOUS

THE BLOG GOT PRESS COVERAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE OMG!

Found out today that the lovely blog was featured in The Gurdian newspaper's saturday TV Guide. Check out the internet page and the blog roll down the side, both Crap Video Artwork and CultVHS get a mention.
I'm a very pleased and shocked and really annoyed that due to technology failing me I can't post up a shit sleeve to celebrate, but soon I'll get the scan up.....thank you to whoever edits that page in the newspaper...and thanks to everyone who has supported the blog from the start......FUCKING HELL!