What a thighfull....

Hydra - 1975

UK Release

Aka:

Zaat, Blood Waters of Dr. Z

You've been kidnapped by a big green catfish with thunder thighs and you're naked, so naturally you have a little feel of your tit. Why oh why? It's not sexy, it's creepy, is she turned on? Wheres her other hand? Between her legs? Just noooo! Wrong! Wrong! And more wrong!

From the cover alone it's not exactly surprising this is one of the most poorly rated films on IMDb.com, a mere 1.5 out of a possible 10.

And just to condemn this to the firey pits of crap  movie hell a little more, have a photo of the "monster" as it appears in the film.

  Uncanny.

Thank you kindly to Mr Paul Higson for the sleeve and photo.

IMDb

Cult VHS

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Carry on camping...

Secrets of a Super Stud - 1976

UK Release - 1982

Aka:

It's Getting Harder All the Time

All the bare breasts in the world couldn't save this sleeve from being camper than a row of pink tents.The gent on the front appears to be part Charles Hawtrey and part Kenneth Williams with a large dash of John Inman thrown in for good measure.

I'm Free!!!

 The late John Inman,  the campest photo I could find out of Hawtrey, Williams and Inman.

Also notable as Cosey Fanni Tutti (of the band Throbbing Gristle) is in the film.

Thanks to Chris for the scan

IMDb


EDIT: Just to make this even more camper, have some Liberace! Mwuahahaha!

Face off.

Countess Dracula - 1971

Dutch Release

I'm not sure whats worse, the flid hands or the face. Either way it looks sod all like Ingrid Pitt.

Once again thanks to Cees for the sleeve.

IMDb / DVD

LOOK! NIPPLES!

La bête - 1975

Dutch Release
Aka:
The Beast, Death's Ecstacy

I had this post planned out for the last few days, a nice offensive Dutch re-titling by EVC, but then this beauty came into my inbox and I had to share it. It has to be one of the more inventive sleeves I've seen.

The Dutch have done it again. Who'd think of taking an innocent bit of pornography and drawing over the top of it. But not just any old dooldes over the top, oh no, the artist chose a rather revealing, well pointless, nightie  which he may as well not botherd with as you can still EVERYTHING. But the pièce de résistance is the amazingly shit "Beast" hand. I also feel I should saying about the ladies eyebrows, they look like they're a monobrow except they're not. This sleeve has got it going on.

Thank you to Jonas for kindly letting me use this amazing sleeve.

IMDb / DVD

Tighty Whites

Goliath against the Arabs - 1965

Dutch Release

Aka:

Goliath at the Conquest of Damascus, Golia alla conquista di Bagdad

"Hmmmm Goliath thoes tighty whiteys look mighty fine on you"

I'm assuming it's Goliath in the attractive Y-fronts and gold belt combo. The other guys face is priceless, I'm thinking out of shot the guy in green is sat on the toilet... Having a bit of "transit" trouble. The toilet/bathroom theory would explain the underpants.

If the picture wasn't dodgy enough then theres the questionable title, EVC seem to be fans of slightly unpc re-titlings (I will elaborate more on this soon, with a superbly bad taste re-titling from EVC).

One day I'll stop mocking the Dutch and their efforts at video sleeves, but stick to what you know guys...things like dope and windmills and tulips.

(The last bit was a joke, I have a lot of respect for the Dutch and their mighty fine drugs and windmills and tulips.)

Thanks to my favourite Dutchie, Cees, for the scan.

IMDb

Phallic Satanic

 Satan's Blade - 1984

UK Release

This just isn't right... Picture the scene, you're in your local video shop and you look to the shelves at the other end of the store and you see the above sleeve. You're not gonna think "Ooo that looks like Satan", more "hhhmmm that looks like a '[insert slang term here]'....."

This one is definetly more phallic than satanic.

Thanks to Chris

IMDb

In the closet

 Cameron's closet - 1988

Dutch Release - 1989

In all honesty, most of the sleeves I put up, I haven't seen the films themselves....This time I have, well about the first half hour and then I did the sensible thing and went to bed. This sleeve is vastly more entertaining than that first half hour and to be fair it looks like it only took half an hour to make. And whoever made it probably had to ask an adult to help them with the cutting out.

IMDb  / DVD

Updates

Fianlly finished up-dating the blog with a new colour scheme, clearer labels..etc 

Anyone can now comment, so you don't have to be a memeber of blogger/google to leave a comment.

And theres the new star rating thingie...Now you can all rate how good or bad a sleeve is!

Scans desprately needed - I've nearly run out of scans and desprately need more, annnnything considered as long as the artwork is bad. Cos with no sleeves there'll be no blog, sooo please please send some to me at eight.eyed.spy@gmail.com

New sleeve up tomorrow! Thanks for reading.